Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
