batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize