My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
