Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
pop tarts are not kleenex
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
