I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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