took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize