CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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