i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
