I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
