Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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