my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
