Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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