My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
