I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Drunk is not a location!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
