im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize