are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
