whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
