Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
