I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
