u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
