He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
organizing the empties. That sober.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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