There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
