guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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