dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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