my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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