I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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