hotel room ftw
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
