i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
