Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
