yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
