I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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