jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
