This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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