I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize