OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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