one might say we're banned from that church
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You made out with two different species that night
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
