tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
