I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize