so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
