A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
