She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
