i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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