Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
And then he peed in my hair
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