Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
