Dual....:-)
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There r osticjed everywhere
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
