Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
