i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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