FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
