Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
