Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
