I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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