rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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