you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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