So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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