I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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