Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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