Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
