TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
