You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
